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Vietnam veteran overcomes painful memories
  
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By STEFANIE THOMAS
Twenty years of tossing and turning. Two decades of nightmares, of struggling to banish images of death and violence from what little sleep he could extricate among sweat-soaked bed sheets. Time moving at a snail’s pace as flashbacks pierce consciousness like shrapnel.
Vietnam veteran Tom Lewis’ mind finally found a small semblance of peace in 1989, more than 20 years after he joined what some call the most controversial war in recent American history in December of 1965 at age 18.
“I was depressed,” Lewis admitted, “and I became a drunk. They called it post-traumatic stress disorder.”
Lewis said his assignment to the 1st Air Cavalry, an air assault division of the U.S. Army that supported infantry soldiers in the field with helicopters and heavy artillery, took him to numerous Vietnamese towns and villages, including the U.S. military post in Long Binh and An Khe.
He seems untroubled as he recounts anecdotes of soldier life on the sidelines of battle: about the time he punched a superior over a girl in a bar; about the shot he fired out of boredom while patrolling the perimeter of a high-ranking U.S. officer’s mansion; and about the enemy attack that forced him to single-handedly operate an M102 Howitzer because he was unable to rouse the rest of the eight-man crew from sleep to help fire the canon.
In combat, the idiosyncrasies of a foreign country added to the challenge of dealing with the ever-present threat of enemy fire.
“If you have to dig a bunker and every shovel of dirt has scorpions as big as cats in it, you know you’re in the wrong place,” Lewis said.
Tales of camaraderie and rebellion even elicit a small chuckle from Lewis. They are safe to talk about.
But a shadow steals over his rugged face as he unlocks the door to the vault that houses the dark memories, the ones that stole his sleep for so long and still make it necessary for him to see a psychiatrist.
“There was so much senseless killing by American soldiers,” he said, his eyes brimming with tears as he remembers the death of a Vietnamese father whose two small children, maybe 5 and 3 years old, watched as their dad was ripped open from armpit to hip by a single bullet. The kids, Lewis said, tried to revive their father by tucking his viscera back into his body.
“The sight of those two small children trying to bring their daddy back to life will stay with me till the day I die,” Lewis said, his hands shaking.
The incident, and others like it, affected Lewis so deeply that he was institutionalized for six months. And despite his hatred for senseless killing, violence consumed him. He defied police officers and engaged in fist fights when challenged.
“The other guy would try to beat me up, but I wanted to kill him,” he said. “I’d go for his throat and they’d have to pry me off.”
Despite his psychological struggles, Lewis said he wanted to return to active duty in Vietnam, but was handed his medical discharge papers instead, in 1972.
For his wartime services, he received a certificate of appreciation, signed by Nixon, an air medal and a Bronze Star.
Lewis credits his wife’s patience and encouragement for his ability to finally leave the past behind. He now has three grown sons and is still married to Delilah. He serves as the commander of the American Legion Post in New Caney and holds a steady job as the grounds keeper at the East Montgomery County Improvement District.
To this day, he said, his counselor encourages him to forget all about his war comrades to help overcome the memories that once threatened to destroy his psyche.
“In order to get over what I had to deal with, the psychiatrists told me I had to forget everybody I worked with in Vietnam,” he said. “And now, I only remember the face of one person - my best friend. He was killed by a car years ago, after the war, and I’m still not sure that he didn’t run out in front of it on purpose.”
And yet, if it wasn’t for his age, Lewis said he wouldn’t hesitate to get back in uniform and heed a call to arms.
“I fought for my country,” he said. “And I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
Vietnam veteran Tom Lewis’ mind finally found a small semblance of peace in 1989, more than 20 years after he joined what some call the most controversial war in recent American history in December of 1965 at age 18.
“I was depressed,” Lewis admitted, “and I became a drunk. They called it post-traumatic stress disorder.”
Lewis said his assignment to the 1st Air Cavalry, an air assault division of the U.S. Army that supported infantry soldiers in the field with helicopters and heavy artillery, took him to numerous Vietnamese towns and villages, including the U.S. military post in Long Binh and An Khe.
He seems untroubled as he recounts anecdotes of soldier life on the sidelines of battle: about the time he punched a superior over a girl in a bar; about the shot he fired out of boredom while patrolling the perimeter of a high-ranking U.S. officer’s mansion; and about the enemy attack that forced him to single-handedly operate an M102 Howitzer because he was unable to rouse the rest of the eight-man crew from sleep to help fire the canon.
In combat, the idiosyncrasies of a foreign country added to the challenge of dealing with the ever-present threat of enemy fire.
“If you have to dig a bunker and every shovel of dirt has scorpions as big as cats in it, you know you’re in the wrong place,” Lewis said.
Tales of camaraderie and rebellion even elicit a small chuckle from Lewis. They are safe to talk about.
But a shadow steals over his rugged face as he unlocks the door to the vault that houses the dark memories, the ones that stole his sleep for so long and still make it necessary for him to see a psychiatrist.
“There was so much senseless killing by American soldiers,” he said, his eyes brimming with tears as he remembers the death of a Vietnamese father whose two small children, maybe 5 and 3 years old, watched as their dad was ripped open from armpit to hip by a single bullet. The kids, Lewis said, tried to revive their father by tucking his viscera back into his body.
“The sight of those two small children trying to bring their daddy back to life will stay with me till the day I die,” Lewis said, his hands shaking.
The incident, and others like it, affected Lewis so deeply that he was institutionalized for six months. And despite his hatred for senseless killing, violence consumed him. He defied police officers and engaged in fist fights when challenged.
“The other guy would try to beat me up, but I wanted to kill him,” he said. “I’d go for his throat and they’d have to pry me off.”
Despite his psychological struggles, Lewis said he wanted to return to active duty in Vietnam, but was handed his medical discharge papers instead, in 1972.
For his wartime services, he received a certificate of appreciation, signed by Nixon, an air medal and a Bronze Star.
Lewis credits his wife’s patience and encouragement for his ability to finally leave the past behind. He now has three grown sons and is still married to Delilah. He serves as the commander of the American Legion Post in New Caney and holds a steady job as the grounds keeper at the East Montgomery County Improvement District.
To this day, he said, his counselor encourages him to forget all about his war comrades to help overcome the memories that once threatened to destroy his psyche.
“In order to get over what I had to deal with, the psychiatrists told me I had to forget everybody I worked with in Vietnam,” he said. “And now, I only remember the face of one person - my best friend. He was killed by a car years ago, after the war, and I’m still not sure that he didn’t run out in front of it on purpose.”
And yet, if it wasn’t for his age, Lewis said he wouldn’t hesitate to get back in uniform and heed a call to arms.
“I fought for my country,” he said. “And I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
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